Best Book on Motherhood I’ve Read. Maybe Ever.

Sometimes I pick up a book because the title sounds good. Sometimes because someone I respect has endorsed it. Sometimes because people I know have read it and recommended it.

Sometimes all three.

The title Desperate – Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe caught my attention.

Hope? For a Mom? Who needs to Breathe? Yep. That’s me.

Then there’s the endorsement. Yep. Ann Voskamp wrote a beautiful forward to Desperate and highly recommended it.

Then I started picking up comments about it on Facebook, Twitter, and in the blogosphere from people who I trust.

So when my smiling Amazon order appeared, I started reading immediately.

The book is co-written by Sarah Mae (the “young” mom) and Sally Clarkson (the “experienced” mom), which is one of the things that drew me to the book. Each chapter starts with Sarah Mae’s often painfully honest thoughts on some aspect of motherhood—exhaustion, mundane chores, training strong willed children—and is followed by Sally’s advice and encouragement.

What I liked:: The honesty. This is not a sugar-coated view of motherhood. This is real, in the trenches, “I’m not sure if I can do this today” reality and it resonated with me on so many levels.

What I loved:: I love, love, love the way these ladies elevate and honor motherhood. Even on the hard days. Especially on the hard days. These ladies express over and over again how important the role of “mom” is and how critical it is that we lean into Jesus, fall into grace, and rely on our Heavenly Father’s strength to get us through the long days and even longer nights.

What’s unique:: Each chapter ends with a QR code you can scan with your smart phone (and the web address if you don’t have a smart phone). You’ll be able to watch a video with Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson discussing each chapter of the book.

I love being a mom. But motherhood is far, far harder than I ever anticipated it would be. I’ve been in the toddler trenches for 10 years and I am often exhausted. Often desperate to catch my breath and find the strength to keep going.

Desperate-Hope for the Mom That Needs to Breathe was exactly what I needed.

I highly recommend it.

As a Mother, I’m tuned to the needs of my children.

I know when the whining has more to do with hunger than attitude. When the fighting has more to do with cabin fever than hostility. When the drama has more to do with fatigue than the situation at hand.

 
This is why most moms I know consider nap time to be sacrosanct. We plan our days—our lives—around that window every afternoon for one simple reason.

Our kids need rest.

We know that when they don’t get enough rest, they turn from chubby-cheeked cherubs to tiny terrors faster than they can spill chocolate ice cream on a white t-shirt.

As mothers, we have a bit more patience with the exhausted child who can’t handle the challenges of supper time. I will often look at my husband and say, “He only slept for an hour” or “She woke up at 5:30 a.m.” as explanation for a meltdown over something as trivial as the color of a cup or the amount of ketchup on a plate.

We aren’t excusing their behavior, but we recognize that in this moment, they simply don’t have all the tools they need to cope with life. Their little bodies are desperate for rest and a good night’s sleep will smooth out their bad attitudes and grouchy dispositions.

I was thinking about this today as I replaced the Spider Man sheets on my four-year-old’s bed—and was wishing I could crawl in it and fall asleep.

As I tucked pillows into cases I could feel God’s whisper in my heart…
 
“Honey, I know you need some rest.”

I’ve been in the toddler trenches for ten years, but my current fatigue is far more emotional than physical and it runs deep. And to tell you the truth, I’ve been a bit of a brat lately. Grouchy toward a lot of people. Grouchy toward life. Grouchy toward God.

I tend to assume God wishes I would just grow up already and quit acting like a baby.

But as I placed Spider Man face up on the bed (because the other way is “wrong”) all I could feel was His arms wrapped around me. Squeezing me close. Holding me up. Reminding me that He created me—a mother—in His image.

My ability to be tuned to my children’s needs? It comes from Him.

God is tuned to our needs.
 
He knows His kids need rest.
 
He knows we don’t always have the tools we need to cope with life. He knows a good night’s week’s month’s sleep could smooth out bad attitudes and grouchy dispositions.

He doesn’t look at us in disgust and exasperation when our nerves are frayed and our tempers are short.

He looks at us with love and tenderness. He’s not excusing our behavior, but He knows—HE KNOWS—we need rest. He created us this way.

I think, if you’ll listen, you’ll hear His invitation.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Happy Mother’s Day. May you find your ultimate rest in Him.

One of my personal rules of writing book reviews is No Spoilers – so be prepared for this review to send you straight to your local bookstore!

Lynette Eason wraps up the Deadly Reunions series with When A Secret Kills and, well, at the risk of sounding cliche…

It starts with a bang. (Sorry, that’s all I can say!)

As hard as this may be to believe, the pace actually quickens from there.

After ten years in hiding, Jillian Carter knows it’s time to go home.

Time to face her past.

Time to expose a powerful politician for a crime that happened before her eyes.

Time to explain her disappearance to Colton Brady—the high school sweetheart who hadn’t deserved to have her vanish without a word.

Convincing Colton of what she saw and why she had to stay in hiding is complicated. So very complicated. (Sorry, that’s all I can say!)

Despite his reservations about Jillian’s story, Colton is too good of a cop to refuse to consider all the facts.

The fact that he’s still in love with Jillian Carter being at the top of the list.

As I’ve come to expect from Lynette, there’s just enough romance to keep me from being completely wigged out by the danger Jillian—and those she loves—are in as they search for the truth of what happened that night.

This plot line is one of the twistiest I’ve encountered in a while and I loved the surprises that awaited me on each new page.

When A Secret Kills hurtles from the chaos of the opening pages to the unexpected—and very satisfying—conclusion.

Available May 2013 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group. 

You can read my review of the previous books in the series by clicking on these links.

When the Smoke Clears

When a Heart Stops

While When A Secret Kills could be read as a stand alone, you’ll definitely miss out on the intricacies of the plot and the depth of the characterization if you haven’t read the previous books in the series first. 

The super fine print: I received a copy of When A Secret Kills in exchange for my review. I was not obligated to provide a positive review. All opinions are my own.

Emma getting ready to flip over the bar.

Last Friday night, our family had the privilege of watching a Special Olympics gymnastics meet. There were many amazing moments—the flair each athlete brought to their floor exercise, the impressive balance demonstrated on the beam, the jumps on the vault, and our own Emma’s bar routine that she had mastered minutes before the competition began.

But there was one young man who captured my attention. His body is bent and twisted, and I’ve assumed he participates in gymnastics to help him stretch and straighten his limbs.

I had no idea the boy has SKILLS!

I know better.

I have a child with special needs.

I know not to assume that small size or specific facial features or the inability to talk means that the person living inside that body isn’t a fascinating, unique individual with opinions and extraordinary abilities.

But I was unprepared for what happened when this young man approached the high bar. He needed help stepping up on the squishy mats and as he stood under the bar, I wondered what his body could do?

Well, he showed us.

The coach lifted him up and he grasped the bar with both hands. As soon as she stepped away, he pulled himself up until his chin cleared the bar. Then he let himself back down and pulled his knees up to the bar. Then he hung there and twisted his entire body round by 180 degrees before letting go and landing back on the mat.

The crowd went wild as he made his way back to his seat, and I fought tears as I realized that I had allowed my assumptions to cloud my ability to see how extraordinary he is. It takes incredible strength to do what he did. More strength than I have. And not only physical strength, but mental and emotional strength to refuse to allow his body to hold him back!

Me, Emma, and Brian – after the meet.

I thought about him again this morning as I read the story of Samuel anointing David to be king. Each time Samuel thought he’d picked the right son of Jesse, God said no, reminding Samuel that He was not interested in the outward appearance, but the heart.

I know we all want our children and grandchildren to have role models to look up to.

Can I make a suggestion?

Don’t rule out the young woman with Down Syndrome or the young man with Cerebral Palsy.

Imagine what kind of adults our children would grow to be if we could teach them the skill of looking for the heart of the person rather than making assumptions based on their outward appearance.

I’m almost 39, and clearly, I’m still learning.

How about you?

So many things are messed up. So many people I love are hurting. So many friends are broken.

And while I’m a lifetime member of the “I can fix this” club, there are some things I cannot fix. Some hurts I cannot heal. Some wrongs I cannot right. Some hearts wearing scars I cannot fade.

But I know Someone who can. So I pray.

And I pray.

And I pray.

When God answers, I rejoice.

When he doesn’t? I beat my head against the back of my chair and I look at my husband with tears streaming and I say, “I’ve prayed so hard. So hard. And it hasn’t done any good.”

I am broken.

And I cannot fix myself.

I have so much in common with Eve.

I think I know best. In fact, I think—although I never say this out loud because good Christian girls know better—that maybe God hasn’t thought this out as well as I have. Because if He had, He would agree with me. 100%.

I want my way.

And when God’s way makes no sense to me?

My faith cracks. Sometimes it’s a tiny fissure. Sometimes a gaping cavern.

Always it’s a wound. A wound that will not—cannot—heal without Him.

It’s at this point that I have a choice. We all have a choice.

We can stay broken, wounded, bleeding. Live out our lives miserable and bitter.

We can try to fix ourselves. Patch up the wound with whatever feels good. Cover up the scars with laughter and a heavy layer of denial.

Or we can let Him fix us.

We lay it all out there. Our hurt, our confusion, our anger, our desperation. We hold back nothing from Him.

We believe with the shards of faith we have left and we beg Him to help our unbelief.

And He does.

When He takes our broken pieces and puts them back together, the craziest things happens.

Our faith grows back . . . stronger than before.

But how do you do it? When faith stumbles? When belief wavers? When you don’t know where to start?

For me, it’s music. Songs that give voice to my pain and confusion. Songs that remind me of what I believe. Songs that help me worship when I don’t feel like it.

Here is my playlist for the broken. If you’re hurting today, I invite you to listen. Just listen. Let Him put you back together again. Stronger than before.



Abba – It hurts. So much. Nothing will ever be the same. It feels like nothing will ever be right again. We don’t understand. But we choose You. Over getting our way. Over what we think is best. Over having what we want. We choose You. We choose to believe that You are God and that there is no one like you. You are worthy of our praise. Father, we believe. Help our unbelief.


(edited from the archives)

April is National Poetry Month. Hop on over to The Write Conversation for my thoughts on poetry…and why writers should read it!

Grace and peace,
Lynn

IMG_5449Last week’s post – Are we taking the “RunPee” approach to the Bible? – generated some interesting feedback both in the comments and in person.
The basic gist of it was this….it’s all well and good to say we need to read and embrace all of Scripture, but we don’t want to just go through the motions.
How do you actually DO this?
To answer that question, I’m going to give you a brief rundown of what I do to help me through the more challenging parts of Scripture. It’s not the only way, but it works for me.
1. Pray about it. I know that sounds like the Sunday School answer, but it’s the most important and very first step. If you’re a believer, the Holy Spirit lives in you. He is more than willing to open your mind and eyes to the nuggets tucked away in random Old Testament passages. Ask Him!
2. Don’t panic. When you read three chapters in Leviticus and have absolutely NO IDEA what you just read…That is OK! Some days you’ll close your Bible and say, “Well, God, um, that was, um, well, I have no idea what that was!” Don’t let days like that make you feel like you’re missing something. Again, the Holy Spirit will show you what He wants you to see. Keep showing up and giving Him the chance!
3. Bible in Five videos. These videos, produced by Blackhawk Church (the people who developed the Eat This Book program we are doing this year) are fabulous. They help you get the big picture of the entire book, which makes it easier to see how it all fits, especially when you have a day where nothing makes sense!
4. Study Bible. I prefer to read out of a Bible with minimal notes, but I’ve recently pulled out our massive ESV Study Bible as backup! I usually read out of my Bible, but keep the study Bible nearby so I can check the notes when something is confusing. You can get a “personal size” ESV Study Bible from Amazon for $15. It contains all the notes in the regular ESV Study Bible and then moves some of the longer articles on-line where you get free access.  I haven’t purchased the personal size yet, but it’s just a matter of time. 🙂
5. Patience. Depending on your background, some of this stuff may not only be dry, it may be brand new. Think of it like building a house. You are laying the foundation right now. It’s not flashy. It can be downright boring. But you’ve got to have the foundation before you get to see the masterpiece the architect has designed.
I hope that helps! I’d love for you to share your favorite Bible study tips in the comments!

IMG_5432If you’ve followed Out of the Boat for any length of time, you know that I have a serious addiction…to books!

It began when I was quite young, was encouraged by my family, and as an adult, I’ve never attempted to get over it.

It gets me in trouble occasionally…say when I stay up until 1AM reading a book I’ve read several times before. I mean, who does that?! I. Already. Know. How. It. Ends.

Anyway.

I think one of the best times to start a young human off on the path to a lifelong love of books is while they are still in the womb.

Don’t give an outfit they are going to wear for three hours and then puke on. Why not give a book!

Give books that are fun. Give books that have significance. Give books they won’t be able to touch until they’re ten. Give books they can chew on as soon as they can figure out how to get it into their mouths.

I love my books and I take care of them, but it doesn’t bother me for a baby to destroy a book. They will learn later not to rip, or eat, the pages. For now, I just want them to appreciate the feel of a book in their hands, the way the pages turn, or the mystery of those lines and squiggles that someday they will learn are words.

I know, I know….babies born today will be reading books on iPads in Kindergarten. Whatever. Unless you plan on handing over your Kindle to your newborn, I say start with a real book. One they can slobber on and chuck across the room.

So, here are my top picks for baby showers and newborns.

IMG_5426 1. The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones and Jago. Hands down the BEST children’s Bible out there. The subtitle is “Every Story Whispers His Name” and it does! I find myself in tears as I read the Old Testament stories and see how they point to Jesus. Every baby needs their own copy. (Every adult does, too, just sayin’).

2. The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown, illustrated by Clement Hurd. This is a classic, but it’s also a beautiful story of unconditional love and relentlessly pursuing grace.

3. I Love You Because You’re You by Liza Baker, illustrated by David McPhail. All three of my children love this book and it’s another one that gives us a glimpse into the way our Father loves us.

4. Dr. Suess books. You can’t go wrong here. Such fun words and random combinations. Dr. Suess was my first favorite author and I still love reading him to my kids today.

5. Board books. We love the board books by Dr. Suess, Al Perkins, and others. These are just the right size for tiny hands, they can’t tear the pages. While they may lose a few cardboard corners to tiny teeth, these books will stand up to a lot of wear and tear. With that said, I think we are on our fourth copy of Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb!

6. The “That’s Not My….” series by Usborne Books. (Ours were written by Fiona Watt and illustrated by Rachel Wells). We own a bunch of these. Fun, silly, with lots of great colors and textures for babies to explore. My older two still enjoy them.

7. Little Blue Truck by Alice Schertle, illustrated by Jill McElmurry. We just got this and it has become a household favorite. A fun story with animal sounds, trucks, friendship, and a nice reminder that every person, no matter how small, has a big contribution to make.

8. Eric Carle books. Vibrant, fun, with lots of great repeats young children can follow. Brown Bear, Brown Bear was the first book Emma memorized and then “read” to us. Come to think of it, I think our copy was loved to death. I’ll have to get another one.

Those are my top picks for babies. I have so many more to share, but I’m saving them for the toddlers and preschoolers list…stay tuned!

How many times have you been sitting in a theater—jumbo Coke and large popcorn forgotten—trying to concentrate on the movie while another part of your brain is analyzing each scene for an opportunity make a mad dash to the restroom.

 
Well, there’s an app for that. It’s called RunPee and it can make your movie going experience far more enjoyable.
 
I’m not making this up!

You can check to see when the best times are to “run pee” during the movie—then, when you have to make a dash, you know you aren’t missing anything important. The good folks at RunPee have determined which minutes you can miss without impeding your understanding of the story, and just to be sure, they provide a handy summary of what happens during your time away.

You slide back into your seat, take a sip of Coke, and pick up right where you left off.

While this works great for movies, I see a lot of believers taking the “RunPee” approach to the Bible. There are sections that just don’t seem to be moving the narrative forward. You’ve got Leviticus and the repetition of laws and detailed instructions on sacrifices. Sacrifices, I might add, that are no longer necessary because of Jesus, so we can totally skip that part.

Right?

Then Numbers starts off with a few chapters only an accountant could love. List after list of people with difficult to pronounce names and lots of, well, numbers.

And can we go ahead and talk about the genealogies. Hellllo? This guy begat this guy who begat this guy…Can you say snoozefest?

Of course, most believers I know would never say such a thing. We toe the party line…“If God put it in the Bible then it’s important.”

The deep down truth is that we don’t believe it. Those verses are fine for skimming (or skipping when you fall behind on your Read through the Bible in a Year plan).

So you slide into your recliner, take a sip of coffee, and pick up in Joshua or Matthew 2.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to pretend that my soul is stirred when I read about purification rituals or the procedure for sacrificing a bird, but this is the Bible we’re talking about, not the latest Hollywood attempt at entertainment. I’m not reading it because I want to feel good or get a laugh (although I frequently do).

I’m reading it because I want to know the One who wrote it. I want to understand the Story I’m living in.

All those numbers and rituals and genealogies? They make my reading of the New Testament richer and my appreciation for grace deeper.
 
I see my Jesus in a way I’ve never seen Him before, and my Jesus is so amazing that I don’t want to miss even one second of His story.
So tell me…how do YOU feel about Leviticus, Numbers, genealogies, or other difficult to digest parts of Scripture? Have you always skipped over them? If you’ve slogged through, have you seen things you’ve missed before? Let’s talk about it in the comments!

Every now and then I come to a place where I need to step away from books about writing and spend some time with books about living.

The crazy thing is that once I owned up to the fact that “I AM A WRITER” I found that just about everything I read has a writing application. Sometimes a big one.

This happened last week when I inhaled Undaunted by Christine Caine.

If you aren’t familiar with her, Christine Caine is the founder of The A21 Campaign which stands for Abolishing Injustice in the 21st Century and works to save people from human trafficking.

I picked up Undaunted because it came recommended by people I admire, some of whom you might have heard of like Ann Voskamp and Max Lucado. Those are strong endorsers, but it was the subtitle—Daring To Do What God Calls You to Do—that really got my attention . . . because no one has ever referred to me as “daring.”


You can read the rest of this post over at The Write Conversation.

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