I have a few pet peeves. Well, probably more than a few. And if I tried to list them, there is one that would make the top five. Maybe the top three.

Man bashing.

I’m not talking about good natured teasing. I’m talking about the tendency for women to gather for lunch or an evening out and spend a significant portion of their time airing their husband’s faults and weaknesses, usually to a receptive and appreciative audience who can’t wait for their turn to do the same.

It’s like fingernails on the chalkboard.
Or talking during a movie.
Or book reviews that give away the entire plot making it pointless for me to read the book.

I’m not implying that women should never say anything negative about their spouse. Relationships are hard work. And sometimes, a little advice from a carefully chosen person can help you see things in a new light.

But it shouldn’t be in a group of twenty in the middle of a crowded restaurant at full volume.

We live in a society that heaps pressure on men and then mocks them in movies and television commercials. Regardless of whether they succeed or fail, they can’t win.

So what’s a wife, friend, sister, mom, to do?

Sure, we can affirm them. We can try to love them the way they want to be loved. We can make their favorite meal and be sensitive to pressures at work. We can encourage them to develop and maintain friendships, get enough exercise, and eat right.

But there is something else.

Something so much better that it could revolutionize our relationships and revitalize the men we love. Something so simple, we often overlook or minimize its importance.

We could pray for them.

I’m sure many of you do. But what if there was a resource that could help you pray for your husbands using the Word of God, tailored to specific seasons in their lives?

Praying God’s Word for Your Husband by Kathi Lipp is just such a book. She spends the first few chapters talking about why this type of prayer is so effective, gives tips for establishing a routine, and shares suggestions for ways to partner with other women who also have a desire to pray faithfully for their husbands.

In the remainder of the book, each chapter focuses on a particular topic (Employment, Finances, His Relationship with Others, His Relationship with You, Parenting, Health, etc.) and while there is a little bit of narrative, the bulk of the chapters is made up of specific Scriptures, followed by sample prayers based on those verses.

It is a fabulous resource. You can pray through the different topics on a rotation, or use it to specifically address areas where your husband is struggling at the moment.

While this book is written for wives praying for their husbands, I think it’s also a great resource for moms who want to pray for their adults sons, sisters who want to pray for their brothers, and daughters who want to pray for their fathers.

This book has earned a permanent spot in my “quiet time” stack (along with my Bible, my gratitude journal, and my copy of Jesus Calling).

I
I highly recommend Praying God’s Word for Your Husband.

Available June 2012 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.

The fine print: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. I was not required to provide a positive review. Opinions are my own.

So many things are messed up. So many people I love are hurting. So many friends are broken.

And while I’m a lifetime member of the “I can fix this” club, there are some things I cannot fix. Some hurts I cannot heal. Some wrongs I cannot right. Some hearts wearing scars I cannot fade.

But I know Someone who can. So I pray.

And I pray.

And I pray.

When God answers, I rejoice.

When he doesn’t? I beat my head against the back of my chair and I look at my husband with tears streaming and I say, “I’ve prayed so hard. So hard. And it hasn’t done any good.”

I am broken.

And I cannot fix myself.

I have so much in common with Eve.

I think I know best. In fact, I think—although I never say this out loud because good Christian girls know better—that maybe God hasn’t thought this out as well as I have. Because if He had, He would agree with me. 100%.

I want my way.

And when God’s way makes no sense to me?

My faith cracks. Sometimes it’s a tiny fissure. Sometimes a gaping cavern.

Always it’s a wound. A wound that will not—cannot—heal without Him.

It’s at this point that I have a choice. We all have a choice.

We can stay broken, wounded, bleeding. Live out our lives miserable and bitter.

We can try to fix ourselves. Patch up the wound with whatever feels good. Cover up the scars with laughter and a heavy layer of denial.

Or we can let Him fix us.

We lay it all out there. Our hurt, our confusion, our anger, our desperation. We hold back nothing from Him.

We believe with the shards of faith we have left and we beg Him to help our unbelief.

And He does.

When He takes our broken pieces and puts them back together, the craziest things happens.

Our faith grows back . . . stronger than before.

But how do you do it? When faith stumbles? When belief wavers? When you don’t know where to start?

For me, it’s music. Songs that give voice to my pain and confusion. Songs that remind me of what I believe. Songs that help me worship when I don’t feel like it.

Here is my playlist for the broken. If you’re hurting today, I invite you to listen. Just listen. Let Him put you back together again. Stronger than before.

Abba – It hurts. So much. Nothing will ever be the same. It feels like nothing will ever be right again. We don’t understand. But we choose You. Over getting our way. Over what we think is best. Over having what we want. We choose You. We choose to believe that You are God and that there is no one like you. You are worthy of our praise. Father, we believe. Help our unbelief.

I was the kind of kid who loved school. Loved it! I didn’t want to see it end and couldn’t wait for it to start again.

But, summer had one huge thing going for it.

Virtually unlimited reading time! And a steady supply of books thanks to a mom who took me to the library – a lot! (Thanks mom!)

Of course, the grown-up version of summer doesn’t have quite the same amount of free time. But it just wouldn’t feel like summer if I didn’t have a crazy assortment of books ready and waiting.

I’ve always been an avid reader. While I have favorite genres and authors, depending on my mood I’ll read anything (except horror and erotica). Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Romance, Suspense, Thriller, Biography, Women’s Fiction, Chick-Lit, Political Thrillers, Memoirs, Non-Fiction, YA, Dystopian, Classics and any combination of the above!

So just for fun, I thought I’d share with you a few of the books on my summer reading list. Maybe you’ll discover a few gems you’ve never heard of. And if you want to share your TBR (to-be-read) list in the comments, I’d love to see what worlds you are planning to explore over the next few weeks!

Non-Fiction

  • Bonhoeffer by Eric Metaxas. This baby has been in-progress for, um, a while. It’s good. It’s just not easy to toss in a diaper bag. I’m determined to finish it!
  • Praying God’s Word for Your Husband by Kathi Lipp. I’m writing a review of this one in the next week or so.
  • Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer. Not a light read (a memoir of the deadliest season on Mt. Everest), but my husband really enjoyed this and it’s been in my TBR stack for too long!

Fiction

  • Hood by Stephen Lawhead. A retelling of the Robin Hood legend.
  • Saint by Ted Dekker. Don’t anyone pass out, but I haven’t read anything by Ted Dekker. Ever.
  • Intervention by Terri Blackstock. I love Terri Blackstock but haven’t read anything of hers in a while. Can’t wait!
  • First the Dead by Tim Downs. Another author I’ve never read. But this book sounds so good!
  • So Not Happening by Jenny B. Jones. Because sometimes a good YA read is exactly what I need.
  • Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson. Just for fun!

Have you read any of these books? Got a favorite author you want to share? Tell us in the comments!

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A few weeks ago, I asked what you were planning to do to grow closer to God this summer. Remember? (If not, click here!)

I know that many of us participate in Bible studies during the school year, but we usually take the summer off. Which makes perfect sense. It’s hard to schedule group sessions around vacations and swim lessons.

What doesn’t make sense?

Taking the summer off.

We aren’t in first grade anymore. We’re supposed to be ever growing, ever learning, ever maturing.

Go ahead and take the summer off from scheduled, group study. But please don’t put your Bible and journal up on a shelf with plans to dig them back out in September.

We must remember that we are in a war. Our enemy doesn’t take summers off. For whole battalions to decide they aren’t going to fight for three months out of the year reveals a serious lack of spiritual maturity on the part of people who should be battle hardened warriors.

Make no mistake about it…if you aren’t growing closer to God then you’re moving away from Him. The enemy will gladly watch you drift and then he’ll unleash every obstacle in his arsenal to be sure you never get as close as you once were.

Now that I’ve gotten all up in your business, let me share with you a resource you might want to consider. You could think of it as a summer refresher course.

Depending on where you are in your walk with the Lord, it might sound like a remedial class.

Trust me, it’s not.

A dear friend of mine (Lori Roeleveld of Deeper with Jesus in Rhode Island), threw out a call to take “The God Challenge” this summer by reading 40 Ways to Get Closer to God written by Jerry (Chip) MacGregor with Keri Wyatt Kent.

It sounded perfect. Maybe a little lighter than what I’d been planning, but hey, it’s summer.

Did I mention that this is not a remedial class?

Good.

It’s not that these challenges are hard. If you’ve been following God for any length of time, you may even read the challenge for that day and think, “Seriously? That’s it? I do that all the time.” I’ve had a few of those days.

To my surprise and embarrassment, when I attempt the challenge I often discover that I needed some work on that particular discipline after all. Consider me Gibbs slapped by God!

I’m not going to give it all away, but I started this in late May. It’s June 11th and I’m not even up to Day 10. I’m trying not to read or jump ahead until I have actually done, or at least planned when I will do, each activity. I’m taking my time because I don’t want to just read a book about getting closer to God.

I want to actually get closer to God.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll share with you some of my adventures, what I’m learning, and what God is showing me about how amazing He is. If you’d like to jump in and join the fun, that would be fantastic. (Please send me a shout out in the comments!)

Whether you choose to join in on #TheGodChallenge (our Twitter hashtag) or not, please do something. Read the New Testament. Pray for each member of your family every day. Read the Psalms slowly (I did that last year – loved it!).

Your enemy is not taking the summer off. You shouldn’t either.

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The Joy Dare continues…

3 Gifts Painted ~ Roses painted the perfect pink; baby faces painted in watermelon juice; smiles painted on the faces of friends reunited

Me and my dear friend Edie Melson at her book launch last fall!

It’s the first Thursday of June so I’m over at Edie Melson’s place, The Write Conversation.

I’m sharing my thoughts on the pros and cons of returning to a writers conference you’ve already attended. Come over and say Hi!

Sometimes, when a follower of Christ answers the call to come out of the boat and walk a new path, the people they’ve been doing life with are more hindrance than help.

Instead of cheering, they chide.
Instead of rooting, they rebuke.
Instead of praying, they pout.

And far too often, the resistance comes from those closest. The very people who should understand, don’t. Spouses gripe. Parents worry. Friends question.

I know this happens. A lot.

But not to me.

When I started writing a book a few years ago, I had four chapters done when I mustered the courage to print them out and ask for my husband’s opinion.

He’s been my biggest fan ever since.

All that summer, he’d ask me how the book was coming. It was often this question that drove me to sit back down in front of the computer and press on, even when I thought I’d lost my mind to consider writing a book.

When I typed “The End” it was Brian who declared it a success. And Brian who thought it should be published. It was Brian who encouraged me to take a writing class. Brian who said “yes” to me attending my first (and second) writing conference. Brian who never questions me when I say, “I need to write”.

It’s Brian who listens when I complain, whine, ok, cry over poor contest scores, blog posts that no one responds to, and rejections from agents and editors. And it’s Brian who reminds me from time to time, often, that he’s certain God had a purpose for me writing that book and that God’s plans for my writing are still unfolding.

It’s Brian who encourages me to keep stepping out in faith, even when I’m exhausted from fighting the wind and waves of doubt and fear.

So, if you’ve ever been encouraged by anything I’ve ever written, you should know that there’s a man in my life who cheers, roots, and prays for me. A man who is out of the boat with me.

A man I am blessed to call mine.

Happy 40th Birthday Brian! I love you!

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Are you taking the JoyDare with me? My personal journal has over 700 grace gifts listed since November 2011. I’m a little behind in updating the blog link (what with a writers conference and a 40th birthday party weekend to enjoy!) but I’d love for you to join me.

I’m so thankful…

  • For my husband of almost 15 years who gets me, even when I don’t get myself.
  • For family and friends who celebrated with us.
  • For the way earthly joys awaken that place in our hearts created for eternity and leave us longing for the time when we will all be together…no more death, no more tears, no more loved ones missing from the party.
  • For mist dancing at dawn on a quiet lake.
  • For birds, bullfrogs, and bugs letting me listen in on their morning song to our Creator.

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I’m still soaking up the writerly vibes of the Blue Ridge Mountains Writers Conference. And oh ya’ll, it’s been awesome!

But we’re still focused on motherhood this month, so I wanted to share a couple of my favorite places on the web. 

Places that help me be a better mom.

These aren’t websites that will tell you how to make your own laundry detergent (nothing wrong with that – I tried it – I liked it) or how to teach your kids to read before they can walk (please don’t get me started) or even how to save money (which I am all in favor of)!

No, these websites help me be a better mom because they help me grow in my faith. I have no greater responsibility than to share my passion for the Lord with my children. But I cannot share what I do not have. The enemy floods the world with things designed to distract me from the wonder of what God has done for me.
These websites remind me.

Deeper with Jesus in Rhode Island
If you want to be challenged to be a bolder believer, if you want to be encouraged in your walk, if you want to be equipped to tackle cultural issues from a Biblical perspective, you need to be subscribed to Deeper with Jesus in Rhode Island. My dear friend and sister in Christ, Lori Roeleveld, writes with conviction and passion and a heart to encourage believers and reach those who don’t share our faith.

I wish I could write about social and doctrinal issues with the clarity and insight she does each week. I pray for a fraction of her boldness and a smidgen of her heart. Someday, I’ll be saying “I knew her when” but I’m thrilled to be able to say “I know her now.”

There is no better thing we can do for our children that to deepen our relationship with our Savior, and Lori’s site is a great place to start.

A Holy Experience
I fully admit to having a writer crush on Ann Voskamp. If you haven’t read One Thousand Gifts, then we need to talk. I read a lot, and it’s been a long time since a book has had such a continuing impact on my daily life. Her writing is achingly beautiful and her posts leave me longing to know my Savior more, love my children better, and relish every single moment God has gifted me.

Our children live in a dark world. I want our home to be a place of joy and gratitude. A place where we notice what God has blessed us with and take the time to thank Him.

Ann’s book and posts help keep that fresh in my mind.
So take a few minutes and check out these websites. Then leave me a comment and tell me some of  your favorites!

When this post goes live, I will be at Ridgecrest getting ready for the first full day of classes at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference.

I’m both excited and terrified.

Excited to hang out with writing friends from all over the country. Terrified because my husband and kids will be doing life without me this week. This is the hardest part for me. Desiring to be the best wife and mother I can be—which is my number one calling—while also following God’s call to write for Him.

My dad, sister, mother-in-law, and several friends, are taking time off from work and rearranging their schedules to help with childcare. It puts a lot of pressure on a girl to have people who love her and believe in her so much that they are willing to seriously inconvenience themselves on her behalf.

I don’t like inconveniencing people.

Which is why I’ve meal planned, done laundry, cleaned out cabinets, and generally made myself a basket case, all in an effort to make this week go as smoothly as possible for the ones I’m leaving behind.

But the resistance has been fierce. Anything I touch turns into a disaster.
I am the anti-Midas.

Try to move some furniture? Scratch the floor.

Try to potty train a child? Clean the floors—a lot.

Try to put up a baby gate to protect our tiny mountain climber? You guessed it, fiasco.

I can’t think clearly, I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, and questioning my own sanity. What on earth made me think leaving my kids for five days was a good idea?

It took a dear friend who pointed out that “Satan is on the prowl this week” to wake me up. My enemy has succeeded in distracting me, keeping me so busy that I’m missing the bigger battle.

Because there is most definitely a bigger battle.

I’m not leaving my family, asking people to jump through hoops to make it possible, and working myself into a frenzy to prepare just so I can chill out for five days.

I truly believe that I’m called to write, and that I’m supposed to be at Blue Ridge from May 20-May 24.

I have no idea why.

I don’t know what God has in store for me this week. I don’t know how He plans to use my writing to further His kingdom. I don’t know if I’ll ever see a book with my name on it, or if His plan for my writing will affect people on a different scale.

I do know that whatever He’s doing, Satan has caught a whiff of trouble in the air.

Seems like the enemy has noticed that I climbed out of the boat.
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I covet your prayers both for me and my family this week. When mommy has a calling, the family does too. In my case, even extended family and friends have taken this calling and made it their own! I’m so thankful for all the support and love they show me. Please pray that we will keep our eyes focused on the One who said “Come” and not on the circumstances and difficulties in our way.

If you want to follow my Blue Ridge experiences, I’ll be posting to Facebook and Twitter (#BRMCWC) during the week.

Every now and then, the title of a book speaks to me.

Give them Grace – Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus is just such a book. I mean, who wouldn’t want to do this, right?

The back cover copy is equally compelling. “All of us want to raise good kids. And we want to be good parents. But what exactly do we mean by “good” and is “being good” really the point?”

I read this book as a part of our AM2PM (Affirming and Mentoring Preschool Moms) group at church. I love reading books as a group…it forces me to read critically and to grapple with issues that I might otherwise choose to ignore.

In Part One – Foundations of Grace, mother/daughter team Elyse M. Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson cover the Biblical basis for how we should parent. From the law to grace, from prodigals to pharisees, the discussion is intended to shake up the way you think about parenting, how you define success and where you find your strength to parent in a Biblical way.

In Part Two – Evidences of Grace, the focus becomes practical with chapters that cover specific areas of disobedience and conflict common to all children, reminders of the importance of prayer as we parent, and advice on how to navigate the murky waters of sleepovers, modesty, TV and movie choices, and friendships with children who do not share your child’s beliefs.

The Appendix has several excellent charts with ideas for handling some of the most common childhood issues with Gospel centered grace.

What I liked: The “scripts” in the Appendix are a great way to start thinking about how to use the Gospel in your everyday interactions with your kids. I also appreciated that they acknowledged that each time you talk to your child, you won’t necessarily have time to present the full gospel. But, when there is time, I have a new way of thinking of these teachable moments. The chapter on sleepovers, modesty, and TV viewing was worth the price of the book.

What I didn’t like: The biggest complaint in our group was that some of the explanations were wordy. (I know, I know. I’m one to talk)! But this came up repeatedly, especially in the opening chapters. The biggest point of disagreement with the book came from the way they recommend you speak to your children who have not yet accepted Christ as Savior when you are correcting them. The recommended approach and suggested scripts seemed cold and, frankly, graceless.

What blew me away: Here’s the main reason I would recommend this book. I’m a believer. A Christ-follower. But I’m not sure that my parenting has been gospel based. It’s been morally based. But truly Biblical? I think my parenting has been more focused on getting my kids to behave (which makes me look good) than on getting to the heart issues that will show them their need for a Savior and teach them to rely on God’s grace to do what’s right (which makes God look good)!

What I want, more than anything else, is for my children to know and revel in the lavish love of their Savior. To fear, honor, and hang out with the God of the Universe. To listen for, recognize, and obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

Give them Grace – Dazzling your kids with the love of Jesus has given me some much needed tools to encourage them in that relationship—the most important one of all.
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So, have you read Give them Grace? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Motherhood has surprised me.

I never imagined how much I would love to feel a tiny hand in mine, or how I would thrill when they want me—and only me.

I never realized how each child would bring a whole array of new experiences—new favorites, new skills, new firsts.

I never knew this level of dependence. How much their tiny selves require of me and how I can’t fathom my own life without them.

Of course, I also never knew how much poop could come out of a seven pound baby or how much pee could be sprayed around a bathroom by a three-year-old boy. I never realized how many times a child can watch the same episode of Mickey Mouse without losing interest or that my culinary skills would get such a regular workout—dicing hot dogs.

And I never anticipated that playing house would be so—repetitive.

I used to love to play house. I was the bossy mommy telling everyone what to do. (I was good at it!) But in real life, playing house gets old.

Didn’t I just wash this shirt?

Didn’t I just fold these towels?

Didn’t I just sweep this floor?

Didn’t I just unload/load this dishwasher?

Didn’t I just. . .

Some days, I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to put my feet up and pretend that someone else will take care of the mess. Because honestly, I’m tired of it. It’s not like it really matters. They’re just going to trash the place again. What’s the point?

My thoughts were running along those lines a few weeks ago as I ran my Swiffer Sweeper Vac (love that thing!) over the kitchen floor—again. But then my thoughts jumped to what I had read earlier that day.

I’ve been hanging out with the prophets lately. Isaiah, Jeremiah, Hosea…and while there are some encouraging nuggets (Lamentations 3 anyone!) there is an awful lot of the same, repetitive story…

My people refuse to obey.
They have chased after idols and made a mess of everything.
I’m about to come up in here and clean house.
Again.
(Lynn’s paraphrase)

All of a sudden, I was overwhelmed with gratitude that God never gets tired of my mess! I run away. I worship idols of my own making as I search for my significance in the approval of others. I expect the people around me to meet my every need and then lose my temper when they don’t.

I blow it.

Again and again and again.

But when I stand before Him, dripping in failure, He never says, “Why should I forgive you when you’re just going to mess it up again. Probably within the hour.”

Instead, nail-scarred hands reach for me and my Savior says, “I’ve got this. I cleaned up this mess a long time ago.”

And I return to my day, dripping in grace.

Again.

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Moms aren’t the only ones who need grace to get through the day. Regardless of what you’re facing, how would your world be different if you splashed around in grace instead of wallowed in defeat? Give it a try. There’s more than enough to go around!

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